jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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