I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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