I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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