he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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