i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
