I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
