she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am available for nakedness
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
