Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
