I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize