Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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