Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize