plz talk dirty to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
