No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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