I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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