I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
