Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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