maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
