Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize