During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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