Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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