You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize