Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
