Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize