are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
