i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
