i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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