It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
