Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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