Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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