Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
