is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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