You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
