next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
