Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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