My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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