dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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