So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
