I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize