Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
