Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
