i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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