so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
