Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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