Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
