I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
