I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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