im holly from the hills drunk
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
