I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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