Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
COCAINE IS GR8
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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