You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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