I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
