This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
