ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
