is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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