just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
