forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
