If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Damn victory sex feels great
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
