I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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